Monday, December 2, 2013

53. Accidents Happen

December 13 was about to be the worst day of my life. I was a freshman on scholarship at our state university. It was finals week and I was sure I could breeze through all my exams. Except for one. Introduction to Economics. To keep my scholarship, which was necessary for me to stay in school, I had to maintain a B average. No problem except again for Econ. Professor Jensen was a real stickler having been a successful money manager before turning to his real love, destroying the lives of students.

No actually, he said his real love was teaching. And he was a good teacher with lots of examples from real life. I enjoyed the class and could handle the subject matter. What was tough to handle was his insistence on punctuality. The class was at 8 a.m. I was an owl not a sparrow and as I learned in Psych class it was hard to change from one to the other. I could stay up every night past midnight studying my eyes out, didn't bother me at all. But to get up before 10 a.m. I needed two electric alarm clocks, set across the room, plus a recurring alarm on my cell phone.

At our first class, Jensen explained.Timing is everything. Buying and selling profitably depends on timing, proposing marriage depends on timing, and so does just about everything else.” He paused and it seemed he was looking right at me. “So I intend to teach you the importance of time and punctuality. I will not tolerate late arriving students.

I managed to make his class on time through out the semester. I had only one more class to worry about. The final exam. He said he would lock the door at 8:01—he'd give us a minute of grace. Generous of him, huh. It was almost as if he could read my anxious mind, for he added, “And Mr. Browning, I've noticed that you're always on time, breathless but on time.” All eyes swiveled to my red face.

He continued, “So as not to be unduly harsh, in case some of you don't make it on time, I will open the door to late comers who will be able to take the test, but I will lower their class grade one level.” I wasn't sure university policy would let him do that, but I couldn't afford to take the chance. For me that meant going from a B to a C and losing my scholarship. I was pretty sure I could get a B on the exam and I was determined to get there before 8.

But, as the Scottish poet, Bobbie Burns, once said, courtesy of Intro. to English Literature, “the best laid plans of mice and men oft go astray.” I was a man whose plan was about to go stray. The night before the exam there was an ice storm. Cramming as much economic theory as I could, I heard the wind howling and trees creaking. Didn't think anything of it. This was Minnesota. Winter storms happened. I slept peacefully unaware that power lines went down all around our dorm.

My electric alarm clocks did not go off. I snoozed on. Even if I had known of this potential disaster, I wouldn't have worried. I had my back up cell phone alarm. I should have worried. I had forgotten to check that the phone was fully charged. The charge ran out during the night and it didn't go off.

My unconscious or subconscious must have been tracking time because I jolted awake at 7:30 feeling something was wrong. First, it was very quiet. No electricity meant no music, TV, hair blowers, or coffee machines heard through thin walls. I looked at my wrist watch. Digital and easy to read in my befuddled state. Its battery was still going strong. One part of my brain was struggling with why I had overslept and another part was intent on getting me to the exam on time.

I dressed like Superman in a phone booth, ran out to my car, turned on the heater, frantically scraped off the windshield frost, leaped in like a deployed jet pilot and took off. Class was only 10 minutes away and my designated parking lot was next to the building. I should make it in time.

Except. I was driving down Green street about to cross Livingston on a green light when a car slammed into my passenger door and spun my Honda around. A dark maroon Audi had slid through the intersection, unable to stop at the red light on Livingston.

As my car turned into a merry go round, I saw my scholarship fly away. Would Jensen accept an accident as a viable reason for missing an exam. No. I'm sure he would say when you saw the ice you should have allowed extra time. And if I mentioned the failed cell phone alarm. He would have shook his head and said, “You didn't charge your battery? What if someone was calling with a million dollar job offer?”

The good news was I wasn't hurt and the other driver emerged from his car looking OK, too. I dug out my license and insurance card and prepared to exchange information with him. I was feeling a little groggy so when I faced the idiot who ruined my life, I thought my sight had been affected. But I looked down at his driver's license and saw he was indeed, Professor Jensen.

“Browning?” he read off my license and stared at me. “Aren't you in my econ class?”

“Yes, sir. I am. And I'm really, really sorry but I think I'm going to be late for your exam.”

He frowned and said, “I think I'm going to be late, too.”
                                                             The End

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